And you thought we were just a regular wine and spirits store - Julia Child move over

We would like to report that this is easy.  Actually, after you have gone through the drill one time, it is. 
We heartily recommend that you open the liquor cabinet about an hour before you start. Makes this a whole lot easier.

For you readers who want to do this over the holidays coming up, well, I can't tell you every cook's secret but:

1.  use a big turkey and just debone the ribs etc....leave the legs and thighs where they are..otherwise you get a football rather than a bird.

2. just buy chicken breasts and thighs - SKINLESS...no one will every ever know.

3.  If you can get duck breasts, well they are unbelievable in this...but to do the entire duck thing, you have to render the fat in the skin otherwise you get rubber skins, and that is too much fat by 10x's.

4.  Because all the fat is out of this to start with, any dressing you put in...and you should layer it, needs to be on the moist side.

OK so far?  Bone the turkey.  Put it on its skin side down. don't worry...it will be a mess so just get plenty of room. FLASH: "pre-lay" the butcher's twine underneath as you will but binding this together at the end and it gets heavy....

Last...butterfly the breasts...that thins them out and makes for more even cooking.

Steps:

1. turkey skin down...season it liberally...then spread a fairly thin layer o dressing over all the breast meat.
2. butterfly the chicken and duck breasts so they are thinner...or you can just buy chicken that is already presliced breasts into scallopini like cuts.  layer this out.
3. cover with a thin layer of dressing
4. roll the whole thing up and use the butcher's twine to  kinda make it work.  you can use some skewers to get it to look like  a turkey if you want....for heaven's sake...don't get crazy.
5. We recommend, like all turkey, the low and slow method.  breast side down for 3 hours at 250. Breast side up for 9 more hours at 250 (it will flip easy and not fall apart). total 12 hours at low heat.
6. The inner temp should be in the 160 range as this will cook like crazy on its own after it is out. It stays steaming hot for an hour plus.  Just measure the temp in the dark meat of the turkey...when that is done it is all done.

Also it helps if you have a dog and a cat, 2-4 grand kids under age 4, no counter room, and a few other distractions .... that makes this a piece of cake.